Guess who’s back? Back again? OK, too early to make way too dumb jokes? Yikes. On that note, is it still cool to make Eminem references? Is he still bae? Am I hip enough? Honestly, man, these 21st century problems.
First of all, should I just, uhm, introduce myself again? I’m aware it’s been an awfully long time, and you may have forgotten about me.
My name’s Tania.
I’m not going to go into details, but for the past few months I have barely written anything. Blog posts, articles, poems – you name it, I haven’t done it. If you remember the last few posts I published, which I have now deleted, you may recall me not feeling my best. While I think they were a very accurate, and somewhat too raw, portrayal of my reality at the time, I believe my absence speaks for itself when it comes to what was going on behind the scenes.
Life wasn’t great for me when I stopped posting. I mean, it kind of was: I was living a dream I’d had for a long time. It was me who wasn’t feeling great. Now I can see that my mind probably thought it was a wise decision to somehow step aside from those dark thoughts that were clouding my judgement in order to get some fresh air, which I could only do by giving up writing for a bit as it tends to go hand in hand with my deepest, most hidden emotions. In any case, at some point that wasn’t even a choice anymore. My life got turned upside down in a way I was not expecting at all (me, the one who can always anticipate everything) and suddenly I wasn’t even thinking about writing, just about… getting by.
It wasn’t until earlier this week that I realized how much I missed writing: for myself, for this blog, for other websites. I was craving it. I knew that, aside from everything else, I was missing something that was crucial for me. For my life. For who I am as a person. I was missing my art. And your art matters. Tattoo that on the back of my hand because I won’t stop saying it for as long as I believe it. Because it does matter. Because it’s about time I start getting myself back.
That said, to some of you, I have to say thank you for the encouragement and all the kind words. Both regarding my writing and in life, always. It means more to me than I could ever put into words.
Come back soon for more Eminem references. He is and always will be cool. 😉